The Eve of Round 4

Day 60

We are getting ready for Ann to go back into the hospital tomorrow for the 4th round of Hyper CVAD. I hope that this one is her last and that everything is worked out so she can be moved to pretransplant. This round she will be getting Cytarabine again so I am anticipating that her eyes will be torn up once again for a week or more. They are going to be starting her steroid eye drops earlier this time, but Ann's reaction was so extreme last time that I don't think it will make much difference.

Ann managed to help me fold laundry today much the effort left her drained and she needed to take a nap afterwards. I know Ann is anemic right now because of the cumulative effect of the chemo, but it still bothers me to see the evidence of it with my own eyes. Tomorrow we are scheduled to get more blood work and labs, and I am pretty anxious to see what the numbers say.

It may seem strange but there is a certain amount of comfort in knowing what the blood test numbers are. They offer me a measure of security that I took for granted before she got sick. Are Ann's platelets low? If so I know to be extra careful with her because she will bruise easy and I need to be ready to catch her if she falls - she might get cut and bleed badly. What is her ANC today? If it's low I know that I should only allow her to eat foods that have been canned or can be prepared very simply. Not knowing those numbers drives me nuts...secretly because they are my sentinels that will sound the first warning if the cancer begins to muster it's strength again.

Hard to belive that we have been doing this for two months now.