Friday, October 19, 2007

Day +142

The puce/beige walls of my hospital room are beginning to feel homey in a strange sort of way. I'm hoping that I'm not becoming institutionalized.

I had my bone marrow biopsy bright and early this morning. This means that I didn't have the nasal "tumor" biopsy, which is fine by me. When I started thinking about the logistics of going in to get a nice big chunk, I started worrying about what angle the doctors would have to go in at. Also, there was a resident that was just way too eager about getting in there. I don't mind being a learning experience, I just don't want some freak getting too excited with a scalpel that close to my brain.

Two very small ladies performed the BMA and if you've read past blog entries on the procedure, you know that it makes it just a little more painful. They had to go in four times to get a bone sample because she couldn't get a hold of the sliver that she'd singled out. Not fun and my bum hurts. They say the best remedy for the pain is walking and I've already walked a mile and I can assure you that there's been no change.

The attending physicians have been by to examine me and the primary transplant doctor seemed pleased. When he palpated the tumor in my neck he exclaimed, "Interesting." I had to ask for clarification, since you never know which way they might be going. He said it was good because it was harder to feel the lump. I'll take all of the good news that I can get. I'm tentatively scheduled for another dose of Rituxan on Monday or Tuesday and then I'm off for another CT scan. I should probably start thinking about the flavor of barium drink I want now. Citrus is pretty unpalatable and apple tastes strange. This leaves me with berry and bananna. I think they also offer chocolate, but if memory serves me correctly, it tastes like exlax.

I managed not to vomit yesterday, only to ruin my image today by vomitting after a hearty breakfast of vanilla boost plus. My poor nurse has definitely been put through her paces with me. Chris is as worried as ever. He was hopeful that my GI tract was rebounding after my first treatment. The nurse reassurred him that it never stopped working. It's only been challenged by all the little knoblets taking up residence.

On a bright note, I finally convinced Chris to get me gum. I haven't chewed a piece in over 10 months and having it again has been heaven. It's been so long, I have to make a point of not chewing with my mouth open and smacking like a child. I can't report on anything else, as it's been a rather slow day. That's the way we like them.

Susan, I wanted to email you, but there's something weird going on with the servers here. I really appreciate the offer of the sleeve for my PICC line. I also make a mess of covering it up for showers. Unfortunately, I don't think my line will be in long enough for me to make a go of it and I'd hate for you to have to go to the trouble of mailing it. I sincerely appreciate you thinking of me. :) I know you'll find someone close to home who can really put it to good use.

To all of the friends who have emailed and not received replies, it's not because I'm not trying. We're experiencing technical difficulties. Poor Chris has been trying to send out his resume for days to no avail. Caroline, he's trying to send one to you--also, loved the net note. It made my day.

I'll post later if we hear anything else. My regular doctor usually makes an appearance late in the day with updates and my preliminary bone marrow aspiration results should be in this afternoon. Sorry for any typos--spell check isn't working.


Paige said...

I heart you Ann!

Carilou said...

Goddamn this PTLD!
I hate it.

Anonymous said...

Ann, I know things are really crappy right now. Truly, I do. However, you need to keep your spirits up in any way possible. Positive thoughts equal positive results. Make that your mantra. Acutally, my mantra is to:

Live an authentic, meaningful, useful life while making a contribution to the world and society. Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary
Isaiah 40:31

Ann, place your life in his hands and trust he will pull you through this. If he wanted to take you home, he would have done so by now. He needs you here on earth and not with him yet, otherwise you would be gone. Trust in that knowledge and know you have something to accomplish here on earth. He needs you to accomplish something, albeit you don't know what that is, at this time. Be patient, he will show you the way. Trust him and trust me. When you have fulfilled your purpose, he will take you home. Your arrival home will be glorious and the most joyful occassion you can possibly imagine. Joy and peace will overcome you and you will finally, be home.

Anonymous said...

Again i am soooo sorry you have to go though all of this. i sure hope things start improving and you can get out of the hospital and start enjoying life again!!!! my friend with his bmt and my husband with MS both seem to be doing well at the moment at least...i soooo wish that for you!!! even thoough i don't know you i worry about how you are doing cuz i feel like i have gotten to know you and chris a lot though your blog. since i mail you and you have no clue who i email is IF you even need a listening ear. Sounds like you have a lot of GREAT friends out there pulling for you guys!!!! :) i am a nurse but work with mom and babies. like i said i found your site looking for info on leukemia and i have learned a lot from you and chris. i just feel so bad that you keep having these little setbacks...i am praying for you!!! you take care. just a concerned person...wishing the best for you!!! Lisa :)

Mabyn Shingleton said...

Good lord guys. I have been thinking about you alot but, for some reason never thought about coming to the blog until today. WOW! I'll say a big prayer tonight. I sure hope you start feeling better and those nasty bugs inside of you shrivel up and go away. Much love...mabyn