Little packages

2/7/07 Day 28

Day two off from appointments has been wonderful. I know Chris is getting a little cabin fever. It's just nice not to be propelled along in a wheelchair racing from doctor's visits to labs and back again. That being said, I have a full day of tests and doctor's appointments tomorrow. Chris says I should talk about how unstinky he is. He was laughing when he said it. This goes without saying. I couldn't imagine my life without him and that was before the diagnosis. He is absolutely my rock and when I feel really run down, I only have to look at him to give me a reason to pick myself up again. I know that I was very lucky to find someone who loved me as much as I loved them and I'm thankful every day. Enough of the schmoopy, already.

I' ve discovered something very disturbing since I started treatment. I cannot open packages. I'm talking about things like pudding cups and individually wrapped candy. I really have to work to get a grip on the lead edge and if I really concentrate, I can sometimes open an applesauce or pudding cup. The little sealed candies are beginning to be a different matter. I can't feel my finger tips well enough to grip the plastic wrapper. If I do manage to get a good grip, I can't tear the plastic. It's like being tall enough to ride the rides, but you can't open the gate to get in. It's a very strange feeling to be defeated by plastic. The good news is that the individual Ensure bottles are sealed with a little plastic ring, so I can't open them. That's the bright side to that. If you've ever had to drink those energy/meal replacement drinks you know it's like evil cake batter. The chocolate flavored ones are the absolute worst. How do you make chocolate taste like potting soil?

One more thing: the steroid eye drops I started taking in the hospital are driving me crazy. I woke up this morning with my eyes on fire. They feel dry and raw, but I'm streaming tears at the same time. On top of that, I can't bring anything into focus, so everything has a fine white haze to it. I talked to my nurse and she's checking with the pharmacist to see if I can stop taking them. Cross your fingers and hope he says I can, because I don't like being functionally blind. I'll post as soon as I find out.