I was scheduled for a bone marrow biopsy in September. I'd just had a biopsy in June following March's strange findings. At my last visit in June, Dr. K. told me that I wouldn't need to be back until December. Having done this dance for the last 4 1/2 years, I have learned that something like this generally means that the results of your last test were questionable. It was the first thing that came to mind and it left me feeling a little disturbed.
I didn't feel like I had cancer. I certainly didn't feel like I had some strange mutated chromosome lurking deep in my marrow. I did have a t(4;11) translocation when diagnosed with leukemia. I know you can't feel something so very minuscule on its own, but you can feel the cascade of symptoms it accompanies, like leukemia.
I felt well. I felt like myself. I pushed the kernel of worry into the bag I keep next to the box in my mind that holds the really scary stuff. I sent an email to my transplant nurse asking about having a bone marrow biopsy so soon after my last one. I waited.
Cathy forwarded my message to Dr. K. I got the news yesterday: the cytogenetics from June were clean. The t(7;11) translocation found in March's biopsy was an artifact. I don't have cancer. I celebrated by going to the grocery store, because after so much time spent in isolation, feeling like a creature from another world, that's what you do. It made me happy to do something so fundamentally normal. Buying 3 types of ice cream didn't hurt either.