My friends Van and Betty got married this morning and very much to my surprise, nothing happened to keep me from going. Van called me last night to warn me that the ceremony would be conducted outside and he wanted to be sure that I'd be safe going. That's just the kind of guy he is. I layered on not one but two different sunscreens and wore a cardigan over my dress just to be sure that the least amount of skin was exposed to direct sunlight.

I did not burst into flames, nor was I rendered blind by exotic allergies. We met a really nice couple who had no idea of my history, so I felt like I was leading something of a double life. We decided that it would be better for me if we didn't go to the reception since there would be so many people and there was really no telling what I might be exposed to.

The ceremony was beautiful and I couldn't be happier for Van and Betty. So I suppose I can move a peg closer to normal. Chris and I are taking a mini trip tomorrow which should last a few days. I'm not going to say anymore about it since I'm reluctant to jinx myself yet again. We'll probably be without internet for the duration of the trip, so things will be quiet until May 1. I promise to write all about it when we get back.

When you're faced with a life altering situation you find yourself as part on an unenviable (maybe) exclusive little club made up of people in similar situations. My cancer diagnosis and consequent treatment landed me in a very exclusive club. The initiation fee and hazing suck, but as a result I've met a lot of amazing people and made some very good friends. Many of these friends I've never met in person, but we keep up with one another through blogs, IM's, and email.

The trouble with this club is that you lose people at an alarming rate and March and April have been horrible months for this. I greet each day with a little dread and anger over their relapses and really hope that some experimental drug or combination thereof exists that can help them. Only modern medicine doesn't work that quickly and qualifying for drug trials usually takes more time than most people have.

Not feeling like I've had anything positive to report has kept me from blogging the last few days. I'm very well with minor GvHD twinges that keep me guessing from day to day. I believe it's the fact that I've been doing well that makes me feel guilty in the face of what some friends are facing. This isn't a pity party--far from it. I refuse to play the "poor me" card because it's not a part of my deck.

I'm working on shaking this funk and I promise to be back in the next few days, recognizable as myself--big goofy smile and all.

Relay for Life

Day +324

We just got in from the Relay for Life event a little while ago and I'm exhausted. I had so much fun taking in the sites and visiting with Paige, Jordan, and Sharla. Dare I say it? I felt normal. Almost like no one suspected that I'd had cancer. As far as I know, they didn't.

Paige's group set up a jail and for just $2 you could have a friend or loved one arrested. It was up to the prisoner to raise their bail based on a roll of the dice. Chris made a blanket donation with instructions to pick people to arrest at random. It was really hilarious to watch "Sheriff" Jordan blow his whistle and pounce upon unsuspecting victims. I was amazed at how willingly people were hauled in and how much fun it was to watch them solicit their friends for freedom. One poor guy only needed to raise $1 to get out and people were actually paying to keep him in. A total stranger made a donation to insure he didn't get out, and that's in addition to friends paying to keep him incarcerated. Without fail newly released prisoners would donate to have the friends that taunted them arrested. As far as fundraising goes, this idea was genius.

I started getting tired after 2 hours, so we called it a night. Paige, Jordan, and Sharla had committed to staying for the total 12 hours--6pm to 6am. These guys are amazing and I'm just glad to know them.

Sharla, I really hope I'm not spelling your name wrong! :)

Please enjoy the pictures and if there's a Relay for Life being held in your neck of the woods, I highly recommend checking it out. It only costs what you want to donate and it's for a really good cause. Who knows, we may run into each other.

Inmates trying to make "bail"

Sharla, Jordan, Paige, and me

Chris looks on as "Sheriff" Jordan picks his next victim

Paige and me

The "jail"

We donated in memory of a few lost friends

More inmates

What's up with my bangs?

Oops, I loaded this twice

Paige and her cupcake

Some of the other booths

Update:

Two posts in one day! Can you believe it?

Paige called me a little while ago to invite me to Relay for Life. It's being held at the LSU field house Friday, 4/18 from 6pm to 6am. Paige and friends will be raising money to help fund cancer research and Chris and I will be there for a little while (probably after 7pm). If you're free on a Friday night, I'd really love to meet any local readers or hook up with long lost friends.

Hope to see you there!

Day +323

Chris had his stitches taken out and all is well. He has to irrigate the wounds daily and he's enlisted me to help. Considering the man had to change bandages and clean catheters for a year, it's the least I can do.

While he was having his teeth done, I was having my hair cut. My stylist is one of those people who has an innate ability to make everyone around her feel good. She's also an angel on earth for so many reasons and I'm just glad to know her. She worked her magic and made my hair lay straight with the aid of a lot of hairspray. I could feel it wanting to spring back into small ringlets. It was strange seeing myself in the mirror with a coiffed do after so many months of being bald. Chris was pleasantly surprised by the normalcy of it all when he picked me up after his appointment.

I've started to observe what looks like the beginning of paronychea on both index fingers and both pinkies. I start to feel obsessive every time I was my hands because of the need to eradicate all traces of water from my fingers. Imagine blow drying your hands at 3 in the morning. It's kind of hard to get back to sleep after that. I'm going through disposable gloves at an accelerated rate in an effort to keep hand washing to a minimum. Before you imagine me swathed in vinyl 23 of 24 hours in a day, let me reassure you that I only wear gloves for food prep and when I have to feed the cats. The rest of the time I try not to touch anything.

I'll be meeting with a specialist in two weeks to start immunizations and I can't wait. Other than that, life is quiet and filled with knitting and baking. I'm hoping to be able to start course work at LSU in the near future. It will be strange after such a long hiatus and I'm sure that my brain will balk at the need to engage again. I'll manage.

Day +321

WBC 4.4 k/ul

RBC 4.28 M/UL

HGB 13.5 g/dL

PLT 375 k/ul

ANC 3.1 k/ul

Depending on whose scale you're using my numbers look pretty normal. The white blood cell count is just shy of absolutely normal according to the scale my local hematologist goes by, but as he would say, I'm so close to it that I may as well be normal. I'm enormously happy to see my ANC is well above 1 k/ul. Being neutropenic after so many months of not having to worry about it really set my teeth on edge. Dr. Bienvenu also went on to tell me that I should get a plaque or gold star for being the best looking transplant patient he's ever seen. Considering what he sees on a daily basis that's high praise, indeed.

I'm posting some pictures from our last trip to Houston that I never got around to putting up. While looking at them the other day, I realized how much my body has changed over the course of this last year. I weigh 15 pounds less than I did before I was diagnosed and yet I look 2 sizes bigger than I am. I'm going to attribute it to loss of muscle mass. It's something I'm working on. Amazingly, it takes forever to recoup what you've lost, but so little time to lose it to begin with.

The GvHD/eczema continues to plague me and the folliculitus is starting to spread a little further on all of my limbs. It's too early to say anything about the paronychea, but I'm assuming that it hasn't gotten worse.

Chris is going to get his stitches taken out today, so I'll have to wrap this up. Just wanted to share the good news.

It's finally not me!

Day +318

For years Chris has been putting off having his wisdom teeth removed, and every year I harass him about it. He's made appointments to have it done time and again and a day or so before the deed is to be done he always manages to find a reason to get out of it. Until now.

His most recent cancellation was last week, the day after my last round of appointments in Houston. The appointment was made the month before and I was convinced that this was going to be the "one". He cancelled it with two days to go.

This Tuesday he started complaining that his jaw hurt. On Wednesday he developed an ear ache. Desperate and in pain Chris called Premier Dental's emergency line hoping to be able to get in to have the offending tooth looked at. Did I mention that it was a wisdom tooth?

Dr. Cyndi squeezed him in on Thursday and the deed was done. He had his wisdom teeth removed from his lower jaw and they were impressive. I know this because I was sitting in a corner sending moral support his way while he was off in la-la land pretending that he wasn't having teeth extracted. Dr. Cyndi is amazing with nervous patients and she certainly worked her mojo on Chris. She managed to get both teeth out intact in less than 45 minutes and after a few stitches Chris was wheeled out to our car with a silly grin on his face. There was a bit of sedation involved and it always makes Chris a little loopy.

He's in a little pain today and his cheeks are a little puffy. I'm hoping that he feels better by Sunday and I'm very secretly pleased that he finally had this done. :)~